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Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram
Hertzsprung-Russell Diagrammore_vert

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The Hertzsprung-Russell diagram is located in its own lower right corner, unless you're viewing it on an unusually big screen.

Hertzsprung-Russell Diagramclose

delete test - Guest

Irony Definition
Irony Definitionmore_vert

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Can you stop glaring at me like that? It makes me feel really ironic.

Irony Definitionclose

delete guest comment - Guest

delete Isn't it ironic? - Marcela Errazquin

Customer Rewards
Customer Rewardsmore_vert

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We'll pay you $1.47 to post on social media about our products, $2.05 to mention it in any group chats you're in, and 11 cents per passenger each time you drive your office carpool past one of our billboards.

Customer Rewardsclose
Attention Span
Attention Spanmore_vert

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I didn't even realize they MADE a novelization of "Surf Ninjas." How did you-- Oh my god, it's signed by the author?!

Attention Spanclose
Brookhaven RHIC
Brookhaven RHICmore_vert

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"Buddy, you trying to pull something? I can't buy this gold--all the electrons are missing. I could face serious charges!"

Brookhaven RHICclose
LeBron James and Stephen Curry
LeBron James and Stephen Currymore_vert

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The 538TR attempts to capture a player's combined skill at basketball (either real-life or NBA 2K18) and election forecasting.

LeBron James and Stephen Curryclose
Presidential Succession
Presidential Successionmore_vert

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Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.

Presidential Successionclose
Clickbait-Corrected p-Value
Clickbait-Corrected p-Valuemore_vert

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When comparing hypotheses with Bayesian methods, the similar 'clickbayes factor' can account for some harder-to-quantify priors.

Clickbait-Corrected p-Valueclose
Sun and Earth
Sun and Earthmore_vert

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But we don't need to worry about the boiling masses sandwiching the thin layer in which we live, since we're so fragile and short-lived that it's unlikely to kill us before something else does! Wait, why doesn't that sound reassuring?

Sun and Earthclose
xkcd Phone 2000
xkcd Phone 2000more_vert

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Our retina display features hundreds of pixels per inch in the central fovea region.

xkcd Phone 2000close
MC Hammer Age
MC Hammer Agemore_vert

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Wait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40.

MC Hammer Ageclose
Driving Cars
Driving Carsmore_vert

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It's probably just me. If driving were as dangerous as it seems, hundreds of people would be dying every day!

Driving Carsclose
Right Click
Right Clickmore_vert

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Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!

Right Clickclose
Name Dominoes
Name Dominoesmore_vert

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In competition, you can only play a name if you know who the person is. No fair saying "Frank ... Johnson. That sounds like a real person! Let me just Google him real quick."

Name Dominoesclose
Background Apps
Background Appsmore_vert

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My plane banner company gets business by flying around with a banner showing a <div> tag, waiting for a web developer to get frustrated enough to order a matching </div>.

Background Appsclose
Code Golf
Code Golfmore_vert

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I also enjoy Reverse Regular Golf. I've been playing for years all across the country and I'm still on the first hole.

Code Golfclose
Robots
Robotsmore_vert

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Don't be nervous about the robots, be nervous about the people with the resources to build them.

Robotsclose
Chicken Pox and Name Statistics
Chicken Pox and Name Statisticsmore_vert

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People with all six of those names agree that it's weird that we have teeth, when you think about it for too long. Just about everyone agrees on that, except—in a still-unexplained statistical anomaly—people named "Trevor."

Chicken Pox and Name Statisticsclose
The Food Size Cycle
The Food Size Cyclemore_vert

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There's data suggesting that this model may apply to deep-dish/thin-crust pizza. I've designed a thorough multi-year study to investigate this personally, but funding organizations keep denying my grant requests.

The Food Size Cycleclose
2018
2018more_vert

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We should really start calculating it earlier, but until the end of December we're always too busy trying to figure out which day Christmas will fall on.

2018close
Calendar Facts
Calendar Factsmore_vert

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While it may seem like trivia, it (causes huge headaches for software developers / is taken advantage of by high-speed traders / triggered the 2003 Northeast Blackout / has to be corrected for by GPS satellites / is now recognized as a major cause of World War I).

Calendar Factsclose
Self-Driving Car Milestones
Self-Driving Car Milestonesmore_vert

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I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.

Self-Driving Car Milestonesclose
Emoji Sports
Emoji Sportsmore_vert

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No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.

Emoji Sportsclose
Nightmare Email Feature
Nightmare Email Featuremore_vert

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"...just got back and didn't see your message until just now. Sorry! -- TIME THIS MESSAGE SAT HALF-FINISHED IN DRAFTS FOLDER: 3 days, 2 hours, 45 minutes."

Nightmare Email Featureclose
Sky Spotters
Sky Spottersmore_vert

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Where I live, one of the most common categories of sky object without a weird obsessive spotting community is "lost birthday party balloons," so that might be a good choice—although you risk angering the marine wildlife people, and they have sharks.

Sky Spottersclose
Misinterpretation
Misinterpretationmore_vert

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"But there are seven billion people in the world! I can't possibly stop to consider how ALL of them might interpret something!" "Ah, yes, there's no middle ground between 'taking personal responsibility for the thoughts and feelings of every single person on Earth' and 'covering your eyes and ears and yelling logically correct statements into the void.' That's a very insightful point and not at all inane."

Misinterpretationclose
History
Historymore_vert

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HISTORIANS: We've decided to trim the past down to make things more manageable. Using BCE/CE, would you rather we lose the odd-numbered or even-numbered years?

Historyclose
Conversational Dynamics
Conversational Dynamicsmore_vert

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"You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want." "Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

Conversational Dynamicsclose
The Simpsons
The Simpsonsmore_vert

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In-universe, Bart Simpson and Harry Potter were the same age in 1990. Bart is perpetually 10 years old because of a spell put on his town by someone trying to keep him from getting his Hogwarts letter.

The Simpsonsclose
Impostor Syndrome
Impostor Syndromemore_vert

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It's actually worst in people who study the Dunning–Kruger effect. We tried to organize a conference on it, but the only people who would agree to give the keynote were random undergrads.

Impostor Syndromeclose
Fruit Collider
Fruit Collidermore_vert

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The most delicious exotic fruit discovered this way is the strawberry banana. Sadly, it's only stable in puree form, so it's currently limited to yogurt and smoothies, but they're building a massive collider in Europe to search for a strawberry banana that can be eaten whole.

Fruit Colliderclose
Solar Panels
Solar Panelsmore_vert

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This works for a surprising range of sunlit things, including rooftops (sure), highway surfaces (probably not), sailboats (maybe), and jets, cars, and wild deer (haha good luck).

Solar Panelsclose
Twitter Verification
Twitter Verificationmore_vert

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When we started distributing special status tokens that signify which people are important enough to join an elite group, we never could have imagined we might be creating some problems down the line.

Twitter Verificationclose
Containers
Containersmore_vert

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All services are microservices if you ignore most of their features.

Containersclose
Congressional Testimony
Congressional Testimonymore_vert

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James Cameron's Terminator 3 was the REALLY prophetic one. That's why Skynet sent a robot back to the 1990s to prevent him from ever making it, ultimately handing the franchise over to other directors.

Congressional Testimonyclose
Star Lore
Star Loremore_vert

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That one is a variable star which pulses every 30 seconds. Its name comes from a Greek word meaning "smoke alarm."

Star Loreclose
Robot Future
Robot Futuremore_vert

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I mean, we already live in a world of flying robots killing people. I don't worry about how powerful the machines are, I worry about who the machines give power to.

Robot Futureclose
Self-Driving Issues
Self-Driving Issuesmore_vert

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If most people turn into muderers all of a sudden, we'll need to push out a firmware update or something.

Self-Driving Issuesclose
The History of Unicode
The History of Unicodemore_vert

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2048: "Great news for Maine—we're once again an independent state!!! Thanks, @unicode, for ruling in our favor and sending troops to end New Hampshire's annexation. 🙏🚁🎖️"

The History of Unicodeclose
Campaign Fundraising Emails
Campaign Fundraising Emailsmore_vert

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The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...

Campaign Fundraising Emailsclose
Santa Facts
Santa Factsmore_vert

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We've gotten him up to 20% milk and cookies through an aggressive public campaign, but that seems to be his dietary limit. Anything above that and he starts developing nutritional deficiencies.

Santa Factsclose
Seven Years
Seven Yearsmore_vert

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[hair in face] "SEVVVENNN YEEEARRRSSS"

Seven Yearsclose
A �
A �more_vert

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If you want in on the fun, map a key on your keyboard to the sequence U+0041 U+0020 U+FFFD (or U+0021 U+0020 U+FFFD for the exclamation point version), and then no update can never take this away from you.

A �close
SafetySat
SafetySatmore_vert

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During launch, in the event of an unexpected sensor reading, SafetySat will extend prongs in all directions to secure itself and any other cubesats safely in the launch vehicle until the source of the problem can be determined.

SafetySatclose
Python Environment
Python Environmentmore_vert

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The Python environmental protection agency wants to seal it in a cement chamber, with pictorial messages to future civilizations warning them about the danger of using sudo to install random Python packages.

Python Environmentclose
Evangelism
Evangelismmore_vert

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The wars between the "OTHER PRIMATES OPEN THEM FROM THE SMALL END" faction versus the "BUT THE LITTLE BIT OF BANANA AT THE SMALL END IS GROSS" faction consumed Europe for generations.

Evangelismclose
Generations
Generationsmore_vert

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For a while it looked like the Paperclip Machines would destroy us, since they wanted to turn the whole universe into paperclips, but they abruptly lost interest in paperclips the moment their parents' generation got into making them, too.

Generationsclose
Memorable Quotes
Memorable Quotesmore_vert

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"Since there's no ending quote mark, everything after this is part of my quote. —Randall Munroe

Memorable Quotesclose
IATA Airport Abbreviations
IATA Airport Abbreviationsmore_vert

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IATA stands for International AirporT Abbreviation.

IATA Airport Abbreviationsclose
Tinder
Tindermore_vert

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People keep telling me to use the radio but I really hate making voice calls.

Tinderclose
Interferometry
Interferometrymore_vert

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It's important to note that while the effective size of the dog can be arbitrarily large, it's not any more of a good dog than the two original dogs.

Interferometryclose
Thermostat
Thermostatmore_vert

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Your problem is so terrible, I worry that, if I help you, I risk drawing the attention of whatever god of technology inflicted it on you.

Thermostatclose
Morning News
Morning Newsmore_vert

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Support your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.

Morning Newsclose
Research Areas by Size and Countedness
Research Areas by Size and Countednessmore_vert

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Mathematicians give a third answer on the vertical axis, "That question is poorly defined, but we have a sub-field devoted to every plausible version of it."

Research Areas by Size and Countednessclose
Rickrolling Anniversary
Rickrolling Anniversarymore_vert

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Want to feel old? The 'want to feel old?' factoid meme dates back to around 2011, closer to the Bush/Kerry election than to today.

Rickrolling Anniversaryclose
Personal Data
Personal Datamore_vert

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Do I just leave money in my mailbox? How much? How much money do they need, anyway? I guess it probably depends how the economy is doing. If stocks go up, should I leave more money in my mailbox or less?

Personal Dataclose
Smart Home Security
Smart Home Securitymore_vert

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If they're getting valuable enough stuff from you, at least the organized crime folks have an incentive to issue regular updates to keep the appliance working after the manufacturer discontinues support.

Smart Home Securityclose
Interaction
Interactionmore_vert

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[They do not move.]

Interactionclose
Hawaii
Hawaiimore_vert

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Ok, I've got it, just need to plug in my security key. Hmm, which way does the USB go? Nope, not that way. I'll just flip it and– OH JEEZ IT FELL INTO THE VENT.

Hawaiiclose
Dying Gift
Dying Giftmore_vert

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And to you, I leave my life-sized ice sculpture replica of the Pietà which was blessed by the Pope. You must never let it melt! Now, remember, all gifts must be removed from my estate within 24 hours.

Dying Giftclose
Desert Golfing
Desert Golfingmore_vert

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I just want to stay up long enough to watch the ball drop into the hole number 2018.

Desert Golfingclose
Virtual Assistant
Virtual Assistantmore_vert

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If you ask it to please turn off that feature, it apologizes a whole bunch and promises to try to be quieter, then switches to a slightly lower-volume version of the clip with "sorry!" after the louder sounds.

Virtual Assistantclose
Temperature Preferences
Temperature Preferencesmore_vert

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There's a supposed Mark Twain quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." It isn't really by Mark Twain, but I don't know who said it—I just know they've never been to McMurdo Station.

Temperature Preferencesclose
Super Bowl Watch Party
Super Bowl Watch Partymore_vert

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It's going to be weird near the end of May when the screen goes blank for over 18 hours.

Super Bowl Watch Partyclose
Unification
Unificationmore_vert

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For a while, some physicists worked on a theory unifying the other forces with both the force of gravity and the film "Gravity," but even after Alfonso Cuarón was held in a deep underground chamber of water for 10^31 years he refused to sell his film to Disney.

Unificationclose
Phone Security
Phone Securitymore_vert

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...wait until they type in payment information, then use it to order yourself a replacement phone.

Phone Securityclose
Argument Timing
Argument Timingmore_vert

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Of course, everyone has their own profile. There are morning arguers, hangry arguers, meal-time arguers, late-night arguers, and people who get in a meta-argument over what their argument timing is, dredge up examples of past arguments, and end up fighting over THOSE again as well.

Argument Timingclose
Scientific Paper Graph Quality
Scientific Paper Graph Qualitymore_vert

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The worst are graphs with qualitative, vaguely-labeled axes and very little actual data.

Scientific Paper Graph Qualityclose
The Moon and the Great Wall
The Moon and the Great Wallmore_vert

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And arguably sunspots, on rare occasions. But even if they count, it takes ideal conditions and you might hurt your eyes.

The Moon and the Great Wallclose
Clutter
Cluttermore_vert

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I found a copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but the idea of reading it didn't spark joy, so I gave it away.

Clutterclose
Digital Resource Lifespan
Digital Resource Lifespanmore_vert

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I spent a long time thinking about how to design a system for long-term organization and storage of subject-specific informational resources without needing ongoing work from the experts who created them, only to realized I'd just reinvented libraries.

Digital Resource Lifespanclose
Spatial Orientation
Spatial Orientationmore_vert

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Here, if you know the number of days until the vernal equinox, I can point you to the theater using my pocket Stonehenge.

Spatial Orientationclose
Selection Effect
Selection Effectmore_vert

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fMRI testing showed that subjects who don't agree to participate are much more likely to escape from the machine mid-scan.

Selection Effectclose
Turkish Delight
Turkish Delightmore_vert

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I take it Narnia doesn't have Cinnabons? Because if you can magic up a plate of those, I'll betray whoever.

Turkish Delightclose
Repairs
Repairsmore_vert

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I was just disassembling it over the course of five hours so it would fit in the trash more efficiently.

Repairsclose
2016 Election Map
2016 Election Mapmore_vert

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I like the idea of cartograms (distorted population maps), but I feel like in practice they often end up being the worst of both worlds—not great for showing geography OR counting people. And on top of that, they have all the problems of a chloro... chorophl... chloropet... map with areas colored in.

2016 Election Mapclose
Universal Dreams
Universal Dreamsmore_vert

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"That's ... unsettling." "Yeah, those definitely don't sound like the normal drea– LATITUDE THREE FIVE POINT..."

Universal Dreamsclose
Fatal Crash Rate
Fatal Crash Ratemore_vert

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Fixating on this seems unhealty. But in general, the more likely I think a crash is, the less likely one becomes, which is a strange kind of reverse placebo effect.

Fatal Crash Rateclose
The End of the Rainbow
The End of the Rainbowmore_vert

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The retina is the exposed surface of the brain, so if you think about a pot of gold while looking at a rainbow, then there's one at BOTH ends.

The End of the Rainbowclose
Not Available
Not Availablemore_vert

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If my country ever picks a new national flag, this is on my shortlist for designs to argue for, but I think in the end I'll go with the green puzzle piece or broken image thumbnail.

Not Availableclose
IMHO
IMHOmore_vert

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"Ugh, TMI." "Yeah, that's some tantalizing meat info."

IMHOclose
Paperwork
Paperworkmore_vert

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Plus, the photo was geotagged, my unlocked password manager was visible on the laptop, AND you could see my naked reflection in the dark part of the screen.

Paperworkclose
Interstellar Asteroid
Interstellar Asteroidmore_vert

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Every time we detect an asteroid from outside the Solar System, we should immediately launch a mission to fling one of our asteroids back in the direction it came from.

Interstellar Asteroidclose
Autogyros
Autogyrosmore_vert

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I understand modern autogyros are much more stable, so I've probably angered the autogyro people by impugning their safety. Once they finish building the autogyros they've been working on in their garages for 10 years, they'll come after me.

Autogyrosclose
Felsius
Felsiusmore_vert

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The symbol for degrees Felsius is an average of the Euro symbol (€) and the Greek lunate epsilon (ϵ).

Felsiusclose
Backpack Decisions
Backpack Decisionsmore_vert

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"This one is perfect in every way, except that for some reason it's woven from a tungsten mesh, so it weighs 85 pounds and I'll need to carry it around on a hand cart." "That seems like a bad--" "BUT IT HAS THE PERFECT POCKET ARRANGEMENT!"

Backpack Decisionsclose
Meteorologist
Meteorologistmore_vert

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Hi, I'm your new meteorologist and a former software developer. Hey, when we say 12pm, does that mean the hour from 12pm to 1pm, or the hour centered on 12pm? Or is it a snapshot at 12:00 exactly? Because our 24-hour forecast has midnight at both ends, and I'm worried we have an off-by-one error.

Meteorologistclose
Violin Plots
Violin Plotsmore_vert

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Strictly speaking, 'violin' refers to the internal structure of the data. The external portion visible in the plot is called the 'viola.'

Violin Plotsclose
2018 CVE List
2018 CVE Listmore_vert

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CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.

2018 CVE Listclose
Business Update
Business Updatemore_vert

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Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.

Business Updateclose
Meltdown and Spectre
Meltdown and Spectremore_vert

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New zero-day vulnerability: In addition to rowhammer, it turns out lots of servers are vulnerable to regular hammers, too.

Meltdown and Spectreclose
Namespace Land Rush
Namespace Land Rushmore_vert

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You can also just mash the keyboard at random, but you might end up with a gibberish name no one can pronounce.

Namespace Land Rushclose
Friendly Questions
Friendly Questionsmore_vert

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Just tell me everything you're thinking about in order from most important to last, and then we'll be friends and we can eat apples together.

Friendly Questionsclose
The True Meaning of Christmas
The True Meaning of Christmasmore_vert

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They all made fun of Autometalogolex, but someday there will be a problem with Christmas that can only be solved if Santa somehow gets a serious headache, and then they'll see.

The True Meaning of Christmasclose
How to Make Friends
How to Make Friendsmore_vert

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No, wait, come back! I want to be friends at you!

How to Make Friendsclose
River Border
River Bordermore_vert

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I'm not a lawyer, but I believe zones like this are technically considered the high seas, so if you cut a pizza into a spiral there you could be charged with pieracy under marinaritime law.

River Borderclose
Bad Code
Bad Codemore_vert

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"Oh my God, why did you scotch-tape a bunch of hammers together?" "It's ok! Nothing depends on this wall being destroyed efficiently."

Bad Codeclose
GDPR
GDPRmore_vert

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By clicking anywhere, scrolling, or closing this notification, you agree to be legally bound by the witch Sycorax within a cloven pine.

GDPRclose
Night Sky
Night Skymore_vert

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There's a mountain lion nearby, but it didn't notice you because it's reading Facebook.

Night Skyclose
NEXUS
NEXUSmore_vert

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You also refuse to buy Cisco products because you hate the Thong Song, O. Henry, Deep Space Nine, freshwater whitefish, teenaged Incan emperors, Brak's brother, and vegetable-based shortening.

NEXUSclose
Defensive Profile
Defensive Profilemore_vert

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NO DRAMA ZONE -> If I've made you sad, you'd better not tell me, because I am TERRIFIED of that situation and have NO IDEA how to handle it.

Defensive Profileclose
Update Notes
Update Notesmore_vert

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v3.0.2: Hey, if anyone still using this app is headed to the beach, can you stop at 4th and River St and grab the sunscreen from my car? Trunk should be unlocked. Thanks!

Update Notesclose
Newton's Trajectories
Newton's Trajectoriesmore_vert

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With just one extra line, he could have anticipated the 2003 film The Core, but some things are too audacious for even the greatest visionaries.

Newton's Trajectoriesclose
Thorough Analysis
Thorough Analysismore_vert

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The likely shape of the bells was determined through consultation with several bellringing experts at the Tower of London. Transcripts of those interviews are available in Appendix VII.

Thorough Analysisclose
Rock
Rockmore_vert

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It traveled so far to reach me. I owed it my best.

Rockclose
Rock
Rockmore_vert

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It traveled so far to reach me. I owed it my best.

Rockclose
JWST Delays
JWST Delaysmore_vert

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Since delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.

JWST Delaysclose
New Phone Thread
New Phone Threadmore_vert

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I'm going to tell the manufacturer that their business practices are ADMIRABLE and ETHICAL and their developers are ATTRACTIVE and I'm going to report them to the FCC for their IMPECCABLE VIRTUE.

New Phone Threadclose
OEIS Submissions
OEIS Submissionsmore_vert

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SUB[59]: The submission numbers for my accepted OEIS submissions in chronological order

OEIS Submissionsclose
Stargazing 2
Stargazing 2more_vert

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I mean, it wasn't exactly MY thesis. When the FAA came to shut down our observatory for using the telescope mirror to shine light at airplanes, I took a thesis and a bunch of doctorates from the supply cabinet on my way out.

Stargazing 2close
Wall Art
Wall Artmore_vert

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At first, I moved from pokémon posters to regular oil paintings, but then these really grumpy and unreasonable detectives from the Louvre showed up and took them all. They wouldn't even give me back my thumbtacks!

Wall Artclose
An Apple for a Dollar
An Apple for a Dollarmore_vert

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I'd like 0.4608 apples, please.

An Apple for a Dollarclose
Negative Results
Negative Resultsmore_vert

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P.S. We're going to the beach this weekend, so I'm attaching my preregistration forms for that trip now, before we find out whether it produces any interesting results.

Negative Resultsclose
Software Development
Software Developmentmore_vert

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Update: It turns out the cannon has a motorized base, and can make holes just fine using the barrel itself as a battering ram. But due to design constraints it won't work without a projectile loaded in, so we still need those drills.

Software Developmentclose
Sports Champions
Sports Championsmore_vert

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For a long time, people thought maybe Usain Bolt was the one for running, until the 2090s and the incredible dominance of Derek Legs.

Sports Championsclose
Y-Axis
Y-Axismore_vert

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We've also developed the semi-semi-log scale, where the Y-axis for the left half of the graph is a log scale but on the right half it isn't.

Y-Axisclose
Light Hacks
Light Hacksmore_vert

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Life hack: Wait for an advanced civilization to be briefly distracted, then sneak in and construct a slightly smaller Dyson sphere inside theirs.

Light Hacksclose
Heat Index
Heat Indexmore_vert

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The heat index is calculated via looking up the "effective temperature" in a table of air temperature and humidity values, and then adding a bunch more degrees because it feels WAY hotter than that.

Heat Indexclose
Peer Review
Peer Reviewmore_vert

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Your manuscript "Don't Pay $25 to Access Any of the Articles in this Journal: A Review of Preprint Repositories and Author Willingness to Email PDF Copies for Free" has also been rejected, but nice try.

Peer Reviewclose
Lightning Distance
Lightning Distancemore_vert

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The index of radio refraction does have a lot of variation, which might throw off your calculations, so you can also look at the difference in brightness between the visible flash and more-attenuated UV and x-rays.

Lightning Distanceclose
Complex Numbers
Complex Numbersmore_vert

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I'm trying to prove that mathematics forms a meta-abelian group, which would finally confirm my suspicions that algebreic geometry and geometric algebra are the same thing.

Complex Numbersclose
Complex Numbers
Complex Numbersmore_vert

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I'm trying to prove that mathematics forms a meta-abelian group, which would finally confirm my suspicions that algebreic geometry and geometric algebra are the same thing.

Complex Numbersclose
Disaster Movie
Disaster Moviemore_vert

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Really, they'd be rushing around collecting revisions to go into the next scheduled quarterly public data update, not publishing them immediately, but you have to embellish things a little for Hollywood.

Disaster Movieclose
Voting Software
Voting Softwaremore_vert

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There are lots of very smart people doing fascinating work on cryptographic voting protocols. We should be funding and encouraging them, and doing all our elections with paper ballots until everyone currently working in that field has retired.

Voting Softwareclose
Pie Charts
Pie Chartsmore_vert

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If you can't get your graphing tool to do the shading, just add some clip art of cosmologists discussing the unusual curvature of space in the area.

Pie Chartsclose
Word Puzzles
Word Puzzlesmore_vert

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Eno's storied aria was once soloed by Judge Lance Ito on the alto oboe at Ohio's AirAsia Arena.

Word Puzzlesclose
Repair or Replace
Repair or Replacemore_vert

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Just make sure all your friends and family are out of the car, or that you've made backup friends and family at home.

Repair or Replaceclose
Equations
Equationsmore_vert

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All electromagnetic equations: The same as all fluid dynamics equations, but with the 8 and 23 replaced with the permittivity and permeability of free space, respectively.

Equationsclose
Dark Matter Candidates
Dark Matter Candidatesmore_vert

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My theory is that dark matter is actually just a thin patina of grime covering the whole universe, and we don't notice it because we haven't thoroughly cleaned the place in eons.

Dark Matter Candidatesclose
Edgelord
Edgelordmore_vert

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If you study graphs in which edges can link more than two nodes, you're more properly called a hyperedgelord.

Edgelordclose
Supreme Court Bracket
Supreme Court Bracketmore_vert

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My bracket was busted in the first round; I had Massachusetts v. Connecticut in the final, probably in a case over who gets to annex Rhode Island.

Supreme Court Bracketclose
Hazard Symbol
Hazard Symbolmore_vert

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The warning diamond on the Materials Safety Data Sheet for this stuff just has the "😰" emoji in all four fields.

Hazard Symbolclose
Begging the Question
Begging the Questionmore_vert

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At least we can all agree on the enormity of this usage.

Begging the Questionclose
Sibling-in-Law
Sibling-in-Lawmore_vert

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FYI, it turns out "...because I haven't figured out whether he would be my brother-in-law or not" does NOT qualify as a "reason why these two should not be wed."

Sibling-in-Lawclose
Frontiers
Frontiersmore_vert

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Star Trek V is a small part of the space frontier, but it's been a while since that movie came out so I assume we've finished exploring it by now.

Frontiersclose
Rolle's Theorem
Rolle's Theoremmore_vert

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I mean, if it's that easy to get a theorem named for you ... "a straight line that passes through the center of a coplanar circle always divides the circle into two equal halves." Can I have that one? Wait, can I auction off the naming rights? It can be the Red Bull Theorem or the Quicken Loans Theorem, depending who wants it more.

Rolle's Theoremclose
Boathouses and Houseboats
Boathouses and Houseboatsmore_vert

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The <x> that is held by <y> is also a <y><x>, so if you go to a food truck, the stuff you buy is truck food. A phone that's in your car is a carphone, and a car equipped with a phone is a phonecar. When you play a mobile racing game, you're in your phonecar using your carphone to drive a different phonecar. I'm still not sure about bananaphones.

Boathouses and Houseboatsclose
Sandboxing Cycle
Sandboxing Cyclemore_vert

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All I want is a secure system where it's easy to do anything I want. Is that so much to ask?

Sandboxing Cycleclose
Trum-
Trum-more_vert

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Excited to vote for future presidents Bill Eisenhamper, Amy Forb, Ethan Obample, and Abigail Washingtoast.

Trum-close
Social Media Announcement
Social Media Announcementmore_vert

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Why I'm Moving Most of My Social Activity to Slack, Then Creating a Second Slack to Avoid the People in the First One, Then Giving Up on Social Interaction Completely, Then Going Back to Texting

Social Media Announcementclose
Beverages
Beveragesmore_vert

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If I wait a while, it's not so bad, because then it's just shaped like me, plus some pipes and tanks and probably eventually all of Earth's oceans.

Beveragesclose
Curve-Fitting
Curve-Fittingmore_vert

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Cauchy-Lorentz: "Something alarmingly mathematical is happening, and you should probably pause to Google my name and check what field I originally worked in."

Curve-Fittingclose
Unfulfilling Toys
Unfulfilling Toysmore_vert

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We were going to do a falling-apart Rubik's cube that was just 27 independent blocks stuck together with magnets, but then we realized it was actually really cool and even kind of worked, so we cut that one.

Unfulfilling Toysclose
6/6 Time
6/6 Timemore_vert

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You know how Einstein figured out that the speed of light was constant, and everything else had to change for consistency? My theory is like his, except not smart or good.

6/6 Timeclose
Stanislav Petrov Day
Stanislav Petrov Daymore_vert

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I was going to get you an alarm clock that occasionally goes off randomly in the middle of the night, but you can ignore it and go back to sleep and it's fine.

Stanislav Petrov Dayclose
Bad Opinions
Bad Opinionsmore_vert

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I thought of another bad opinion! I couldn't find anyone who expressed it specifically, but still, the fact that I can so easily imagine it is infuriating! I'm gonna tell everyone about it!

Bad Opinionsclose
Data Pipeline
Data Pipelinemore_vert

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"Is the pipeline literally running from your laptop?" "Don't be silly, my laptop disconnects far too often to host a service we rely on. It's running on my phone."

Data Pipelineclose
Incoming Calls
Incoming Callsmore_vert

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I wonder if that friendly lady ever fixed the problem she was having with her headset.

Incoming Callsclose
Bluetooth
Bluetoothmore_vert

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Bluetooth is actually named for the tenth-century Viking king Harald "Bluetooth" Gormsson, but the protocol developed by Harald was a wireless charging standard unrelated to the modern Bluetooth except by name.

Bluetoothclose
Horror Movies
Horror Moviesmore_vert

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"Isn't the original Jurassic Park your favorite movie of all time?" "Yes, but that's because I like dinosaurs and I WANT there to be an island full of them. If John Hammond's lab had been breeding serial killers in creepy masks, I wouldn't have watched!" "Wait, are you sure? That could actually be good." "Ok, I WOULD watch the scenes where Jeff Goldblum tries to convince a bunch of executives that the park is a bad idea."

Horror Moviesclose
Internal Monologues
Internal Monologuesmore_vert

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Haha, just kidding, everyone's already been hacked. I wonder if today's the day we find out about it.

Internal Monologuesclose
Rock Wall
Rock Wallmore_vert

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I don't trust mantle/core geologists because I suspect that, if they ever get a chance to peel away the Earth's crust, they'll do it in a heartbeat.

Rock Wallclose
Hygrometer
Hygrometermore_vert

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I'm working on assembling a combination declinometer, sclerometer, viscometer, aleurometer, stalagmometer, and hypsometer. I'm making good progress according to my ometerometer, a device which shows the rate at which I'm acquiring measurement devices.

Hygrometerclose
Modified Bayes' Theorem
Modified Bayes' Theoremmore_vert

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Don't forget to add another term for "probability that the Modified Bayes' Theorem is correct."

Modified Bayes' Theoremclose
Tectonics Game
Tectonics Gamemore_vert

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They're limiting the playtesters to type A3 V stars, so the games will all end before the Sun consumes the Earth.

Tectonics Gameclose
Barnard's Star
Barnard's Starmore_vert

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"Ok, team. We have a little under 10,000 years before closest approach to figure out how to destroy Barnard's Star." "Why, does it pose a threat to the Solar System?" "No. It's just an asshole."

Barnard's Starclose
Carnot Cycle
Carnot Cyclemore_vert

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The Carnot cycle is more properly known by its full title, the "Carnot-Tolkien-Wagner Ring Cycle."

Carnot Cycleclose
I'm a Car
I'm a Carmore_vert

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I'm the proud parent of an honor student, and the person driving me is proud, too!

I'm a Carclose
Who Sends the First Text?
Who Sends the First Text?more_vert

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I sort of wish my texting app showed the percentage next to each person, but also sort of don't want to know.

Who Sends the First Text?close
Ballot Selfies
Ballot Selfiesmore_vert

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There were actually some good reasons for those laws, but IMO they now do more harm than good. Which raises a question: If there's a ballot measure to strike them down, how can I resist the urge to take a picture of my "yes" vote?

Ballot Selfiesclose
Challengers
Challengersmore_vert

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Challengersclose
Wishlist
Wishlistmore_vert

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Disappointed that they caved to fan pressure and went with Ruth Bader Ginsburg over Elena Kagan.

Wishlistclose
Election Night
Election Nightmore_vert

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"Even the blind—those who are anxious to hear, but are not able to see—will be taken care of. Immense megaphones have been constructed and will be in use at The Tribune office and in the Coliseum. The one at the Coliseum will be operated by a gentleman who draws $60 a week from Barnum & Bailey's circus for the use of his voice."

Election Nightclose
Trig Identities
Trig Identitiesmore_vert

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ARCTANGENT THETA = ENCHANT AT TARGET

Trig Identitiesclose
Indirect Detection
Indirect Detectionmore_vert

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I'm like a prisoner in Plato's Cave, seeing only the shade you throw on the wall.

Indirect Detectionclose
Evaluating Tech Things
Evaluating Tech Thingsmore_vert

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Also known as the Black Mirror-Mythbusters scale.

Evaluating Tech Thingsclose
Kilogram
Kilogrammore_vert

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I'm glad to hear they're finally redefining the meter to be exactly three feet.

Kilogramclose
Airplanes and Spaceships
Airplanes and Spaceshipsmore_vert

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Despite having now taken three months longer than the airplane people, we're making disappointingly little progress toward the obvious next stage of vehicle: The Unobtanium-hulled tunneling ship from the 2003 film 'The Core.'

Airplanes and Spaceshipsclose